Wednesday, 1 May 2013

American Mothers Day

The other day I received an email out of the blue inviting me to win $1,000 by writing a blog post about Mothers Day (the best Mother’s Day present under $25 to be exact).

Not being one to sniff at the possibility of four figures of dosh (even if it is foreign dosh - it had dawned on me by now that perhaps the currency symbol was purposely not a pound sign), I decided to at least take a look at their website - albeit with the cynical spectacles on. It seems they want me to write and publish something they want written. Ordinarily that is called ‘Advertising’. Only this time it is for a slim chance of payment as opposed to actual payment.

The first question that came to mind is “Why does an American website want a blog from lil ol’ Worcester Park in Ingalaand to write about a day that does not exist in our country and when our nearest equivalent (Mothering Sunday) happened over a month ago.”  My answer to myself was that they have contacted every blog on Earth, thinking that if we have blogs we must also have ‘Mothers Day’ and their intention is to take over the blogsphere with these stories for their own publicity. Now having a better idea of the odds of winning , I considered what they would want to see in a winning entry... My bet is on an all American saccharine laced frozen moment of soul baring kitsch. So seeing as I’m not going to win anyway, I thought I might as well have a go:

My best Mother’s Day present under $25.

I am a male member of the human species. The number of neurons I have dedicated to remembering anniversaries and keeping in contact with loved ones can be counted on the fingers of one of Dave Allen’s hands.

Just reminding my Mother that I a) still exist, and b) remember that she still exists counts as a special occasion. As my mother lives some way away, such special occasions are usually achieved with the use of a telephone and these days often Skype is involved too.

Mind you (warning – its gets uncomfortably mushy from here on)  such occasions do remind me how much we have in common and usually last much longer than first intended.

So really some time spent together would really be the best present. Preferably involving food, wine and a good yak. Lunch it is then. (Except that normally comes to more than $25 - around £15 I’m guessing).  Damn, I’ll have to cook it myself.

Update 3rd May:

A more detailed look at their Ts&Cs has revealed that as I am not a legal residents of the United States, I am not even eligible to enter this competition! I really shouldn't have wasted my time on this...