I have been hit by a blizzard of comments on the Worcester Park Blog, including several very angry ones from someone I have clearly annoyed, and others from someone who insists on calling me Roy.
One of the comments consisted of a list of questions - which I am more than happy to answer:
Why are you always so sarcastic in your comments? (It's really annoying!)
I do it to annoy you. I'm so glad it's working.
What do you do for a living..? Is this it? You have nothing better to do?
I do other things, but that is no interest of yours. Anway, why are you writing long comments with dubious word ordering. You have nothing better to do?
Is this your life? DO YOU HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE?
I have 239 Facebook friends, some of whom I have even met in real life.
Why do you care so much about other people's business? ( can't you just mind your own? )
Why do you care enough to comment on this blog? Do you mind if I answer a question with a question?
Do you think you're funny and interesting?
Thousands read this blog every week. Let them be the judge.
Do you really think Worcester Park needs someone like you?
Dunno. I haven't asked it. It could do with a decent fishmonger though, and fewer charity shops. Perhaps I should diversify.
How do you know so much about other people's business? Are you a spy?
Yes, but please don't tell anyone, or I would have to kill you. I also have a network of secret contacts in and around Worcester Park who give me my information. But please don't tell anyone, or I'd have to kill them too.
Are you allowed to take pictures of other people's businesses and post them on your blog without permission.
I like to live life on the edge. I drove at 32 mph in an urban area the other day. Not Central Road, of course. That would never happen.