I went to pay my last respects to Woolworths today as, judging by the jostling crowds within, did half the population of Sutton.
Suddenly the tat that nobody wanted for years had become irresistible when heavily discounted. Who could resist a half-price pocket sewing kit, or 10% off a set of four wooden egg cups?
As frenzied bargain-hunters shovelled loot indiscriminately into their baskets, a conversation overheard between two harassed Woolworths employees neatly summed up the sorry affair:
Employee 1: I wish I had a buggy I could barge into people with.
Employee 2: I wish I had a gun.