Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Scissor Sisters

I did quite well on my ongoing 'shop local' mission over the weekend.

I popped in to Kim's, the new(ish) barbers in Central Road. The whole thing happened so fast I had to check my reflection in the window on the way out just to make sure that I had actually had my hair cut. Super fast scissorship, Kim.

Then to accompany an impromptu BBQ I called in for some tabbouleh (Lebanese salad to you and me) and other assorted oddments from Ryan Gate. The normally fail safe tactics of pointing to the menu never quite seems to work there and communication invetiably breaks down resulting in me leaving confused and clutching some random items from the menu at a equally unfathomable prices. Perhaps I was supposed to haggle? Still, all part of the lucky dip of shopping Ryan Gate style.

Then it all went horribly wrong on Sunday. I did something that I am deeply ashamed of. I know I shouldn't have, but the temptation was there and in a moment of weakness I succumbed. I now feel dirty, used and thoroughly disgusted with myself.

Yes, I went into KFC. But I didn't inhale. I stood patiently in the queue, dodging the screaming toddlers running amok. The stench of dripping fat was overwhelming - and that was just from the obese woman in front of me.

After two minutes in the queue, as the disfunctional family unit ahead of me waddled off clutching their Bargain Buckets and another serving of brown greasy battery-chicken-remains was dredged from the depths of the deep fat frier I came to my senses and legged it back into the fresh air of Worcester Park.

Am I forgiven?

14 COMMENTS (Add Yours Now!):

Captain America said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Ryan Gate is scary but there is something nice about the place, when I go in it, I feel i am not in Middle England any more and it feels good

NS said...

Allow yourself to be cleansed of your KFC shame, as I have done with myself. I went in there last week by direct order of my foetus (pregnancy craving) and actually consumed the food (though not on the premises, that would just be taking it too far). Am I to lose all snobby WP'er credentials now?

Anonymous said...

The fact you probably walked there and then legged it out shows a commendable committment to at least offsetting what would have been a meal of dubiously low nutritional value. It's the lot that choose to drive there, parking on Caldbeck avenue, blocking people's drives, turning their bass up too high and dropping litter out of their car doors I can't stand. How can they be stopped?

j_lo said...

Fresh air of Worcester Park?

Stephan said...

...only if your on the low emission zone side.

Anonymous said...

The nearest thing to getting a fresh air fix in Worcester Park is watching Emmerdale.

cee..cee..argh! said...

I also visited Kentucky Fried Cat after a drunken night 'Up West' recently...the long and lonely stagger up the hill from everyones favourite train station...the smell of chip fat was too much!
I still feel dirty and cheap...
Is there anyway I can cleanse myself ?

Anonymous said...

You do realise that the WP KFC has won KFC restaurant of the year in the past don't you?

Anonymous said...

The only way you can cleanse yourself is to go the brothel on Balmoral Road. It is very cheap and satisfying!!!

cee..cee..argh! said...

Brothel... on Balmoral Road??

Anonymous said...

Brothel... on Balmoral Road??

I also am intrested to know more

Worcester Park said...

They didn't mention THAT on Location Location Location. How remiss of them.

Bigboy said...

What number?

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