Thursday, 17 April 2008

Learning The Drill

In the early hours of this morning, I awoke with a burning sense of injustice. As it turned out it was merely a bad case of heartburn but it gave me the opportunity to mull over my previous posting about The Drill's decision to deny it's Worcester Park roots and declare on its new website that it is in the town of Cheam.

I resolved, therefore, to put finger to keyboard and fire off an open e-mail to The Drill to shame them into rethinking their geographical allegiance:

Dear Sir

It was with much regret that I noticed that you have, on your shiny new website, declared yourself to be in the town of Cheam.

You would not believe the upset that this disloyalty has caused the local community. You may indeed have heard anguished howling at night and put it down to a stray fox or wounded chav, but this is not the case.

Were it not for the fact that they are quite busy being outraged by the £35 per sack green waste collection fees from Sutton Council, the people of Worcester Park would almost certainly be taking up arms and beating an angry path to one of your many recently-refurbished doors.

Whilst it may be the case that you are geographically close to the no-man's land that they call 'North Cheam' (for which you have my unreserved sympathies) your address is 'Worcester Park' and your postcode 'KT4'. You will, I am sure, appreciate the hurt and distress that was caused when we realised you were leaving us for another town.

I am thus assuming that the decision to proclaim allegiance to Cheam was nothing more than a horrific mistyping incident on the part of your website designers, and we look forward to the joyous news that is going to be corrected.

You will also note that the blog readers are currently voting on their Worcester Park drinking establishment of choice. I am loath to start fiddling with my ballots, but if you feel that Worcester Park is not your home then I fear that drastic electronic action must be taken to redistribute your votes to other Worcester Park watering holes.

The whole town of Worcester Park looks forward to welcoming you back into our hilly and traffic-choked bosom.

Yours truly


Will it work? Watch this space. And in the meantime if you are venturing into, ahem, Cheam to visit The Drill, do mention the blog and urge them to respond.