Thursday, 28 February 2008

Passing out parade

I have this strange 'fridge ritual'. I'll look in the fridge in Worcester Park towers, find nothing in there worth eating, close the door then wander straight back, open the fridge and look through it again. Repeat several times, then retire disappointed that nothing has magically appeared in between these multiple inspections. I suspect I'm not alone in my refrigerator habits - if you suffer the same affliction, please let me know.

In much the same way, I flick to the letters page of the local paper each week in the vague hope that something interesting will appear there, but remain disappointed. I recall one contributor to the letters page of the Surrey Comet some years back. He would write in on a weekly basis (without fail) about the most banal and inconsequential of matters ('I had a cup of tea in Tudor Williams cafe last Monday - it was the best cup of tea I've had in many years' etc.etc), and each week the WP household would moan at the inclusion of such dullness.

By the same token, he became something of a cause celebre, as we awaited his latest musings each week.

In the end, one member of the WP household took it upon themselves to write in to the Surrey Comet in protest about the inclusion of his tedious scribblings in the weekly letters page. The letter of complaint was duly published, and that was that. He never wrote in again, and we found ourselves bereft of local entertainment. Life has been much duller since, and we never did get to find out if the problem pigeons had stopped defacating on his rooftop, or whether his 23p library fine had been revoked.

There is one feature of the Sutton Guardian letter pages, however, which you can always rely on; - the 'fallen over on a bus' letter.

"I wish to express my gratitude for the people who helped my when I fell over on the [insert number] bus last Wednesday. They really were very kind and looked after me until help arrived."

There's one of those in the letter pages pretty much every week. I am driven to wonder whether we have a spate of toppling pensioners in Sutton, or whether it is the same clumsy but polite victim tumbling on a weekly basis.

I may write in and ask.

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