Sunday, 20 January 2008

On moving to Worcester Park...

In a break from questions from my readers about disused A-roads and suicidal rodents, Clara has e-mailed me with a more general query about moving to Worcester Park,which I'm sure my regular readers will be well-placed to assist her with. She writes:

"My Family and I (husband, toddler, bump and myself) are seriously thinking of joining the Worcester Park community. In fact we have found the house of our budgets in Caldbeck Ave and are hoping to move as soon as we get an offer on our flat (want to buy a flat in Streatham? no? why ever not?). We have consequently been trying to immerse ourselves in Worcester Park culture by shopping in Waitrose, drinking hot chocolate in Costa and reading your most excellent blog.

As a self-confessed "reluctant resident" and financial exile from New Malden (we ourselves have tasted the high life in North Kingston); what advice can you bestow? What chance do you hold out for our happiness in Worcester Park?

N.B. we are generally very good on happiness, it's not as if I expect WP to make miserable people happy.

Well, Clara, a few observations of my own - firstly, I note that you have found the house of your budgets, not the house of your dreams, in Caldbeck Avenue. Quite frankly, if you've shopped in Waitrose and drank in Costa Coffee then no wonder you don't have much cash left for a house.

Oh, and no I wouldn't want a flat in Streatham. Streatham rhymes with threaten, and there's a good reason for that.

As a New Malden exile you must take the pledge never to cross the roadworks (sorry, the A3 roundabout) and visit Tudor Williams, or complain that Worcester Park has no petrol stations but New Malden has three.

Nor are you allowed to dab moist eyes as you read the Kingston Guardian and dream of 'home'. You must dedicate yourselves to the Sutton Guardian, and force yourselves to find local new from Belmont and Banstead interesting.

Also, if you want to fit in here you must crow about the fact that Worcester Park has excellent local shops, and annoy the hell out of any remaining friends by stressing that all fruit, veg and meat comes from local shops for local people (where the shopkeeper knows you by name and gives you a nod of recognition each time you pass by).

That's my take anyway.

What advice would you offer for a would-be resident of Worcester Park?

Click on the comments link below, and let your advice flow free.