Monday, 19 November 2007

Ode to Worcester Park

Apparently, there's £1,000 up for grabs from United Newspapers if you can pen a winning ditty about your local area. Details here.

Not one to miss the opportunity of wealth, I present the probable winning entry:

Ode To Worcester Park

Last night I went to Worcester Park,
After it was a just a dark
And found that it was far too late
for pizza fresh from Ryan Gate

Far far too many chavs, I see
With miniskirts in KFC -
Not a case of lamb but mutton,
off the 213 from Sutton.

Then up the hill I gainly troop
But got ripped off by Betty Boop.

(Do Worcester Parkers really think
There's real demand for Mr Ink?)


Then I stumble on a rarity
A local shop that's not for charity -
So into Broadway Bargains race
And blow the rest on wool and lace

Then join some locals for a beer
To find out what it's like round here -
Nothing but a bunch of c*nts man!
Is it always like that in The Huntsman?


4 COMMENTS (Add Yours Now!):

Longella said...

Enjoyed the poem!And am enjoying your blog. Came across it by accident during a search for nail bars and a link to you appeared!
As a fellow (that's a clue..)Worcester Parkite I would like to show some (deserved) recognition for FRIENDLY shop workers...mine being: 1)Italian (?) man in Checkers sandwich bar (always cheers me up), 2) the pharmacist in Boots - he always goes out of his way to help,
3) the lady who serves in Smiths - friendly, helpful...polite
4) the waiter in Pizza Express who always remembers us (OK we do go in there a lot - I LOVE PE)
sadly I don't remember their names but little things make a difference when you're down and walking down Central road trying to avoid the 4 million pieces of chewing gum stuck to the pavement outside Kentucky FC (are they having a competition for the most bits of chewing gum outside a shop??), feeling guilty about not buying from the 'big issue' woman outside Iceland on a Saturday, then going back and buying one only for her to chase me cause I haven't paid enough (I thought they were still £1.00.)and 'dodge the vomit splash' which seems to on the increase - latest sighting outside Barclays Bank - cranberries obviously didn't agree with someone....urgh. Time to go back to work...regards L

The Parkerilla said...

Having just read last year's winning entry I think you'll walk it.

white van lady said...

Radio 5 live had a competition for a slogan to sum up listeners' localities, and my fmily came up with "Worcester Park: it isn't in Worcester but it does have sauce."

Youmug said...

Chavs... Mutten... What makes u think ur better than them... Mug

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